Shadowed Love
by bermudamoon
Summary: A rocketshippy fic in which Jessie explores her feelings for her partner, never expecting what fate has in store as she finds herself trapped in a cave of darkness. Can she escape from the shadows that have been haunting her for so long?


**Shadowed Love**

_Darkness._

_Fear._

_These were the sole fixations of Jessie's consciousness as she fled frantically through a narrow passageway. There was no place she could turn, no place she could hide. Behind her the shadows were thickening, and with rocky restrictions on all sides she had no choice but to keep her sights set dead ahead. _

_Death._

_Was that to be her fate? Was this how it felt to die—black as sin and cold as indifference?_

_Was it because she was a criminal? _

_Would people like Ash die in fields of rainbows and roses because they were considered "heroes?" _

_It wasn't fair! She'd done good things too—though maybe not on as regular a basis as those do-gooder twerps. But still. Didn't she deserve _some_ level of pleasantry? Some amount of compensation for her life?_

_However, all thoughts of contempt were quickly replaced with trepidation as the malicious mist at her heels suddenly surrounded her entire being. It was like receiving a direct hit from a Hitmonchan's ice punch, and she found herself breathless as a deafening chill sank into the very marrow of her bones. _

_All around her the shadows coagulated like a pulsating organ ready to digest, and within their fibers she could see a dim crimson glow. From that first presence came a second, and from the second a third, each burning with increased intensity. Soon, Jessie's world was filled with hundreds of malicious, staring embers, and though she tried to scream no sound could escaped her. _

_A barrage of fear and madness assaulted her mind, threatening to devour her like a ravenous beast, while cold fingers lapped at her sin, holding her breath at bay and causing her physical and mental needs to collide._

_This was the end._

_But then she saw a small light burning brightly in the darkness. Its powerful beams pierced the shadows and filled her heart with hope. The feeling was comforting, and as she let it fill her she could hear a familiar voice calling through the gloom._

"_James?"_

_However, no sooner had the name left her lips than there was an eruption of sound, confusion, fear, and ultimately, darkness._

For a moment the darkness lingered as Jessie slowly bridged the gap between torment and truth. She could feel an unknown presence looming above her, and with fantastical imagery still haunting her memory, she had little desire to open her eyes and greet this mysterious stranger. Instead, she chose to lay still, her body stiff and her heart anxious.

"Jessie? Are you alright?"

It was that voice again.

"Jessie, it's okay. You're only dreaming."

…_Dreaming?_

She took a moment to allow this idea sink in, and as her senses cleared she began to notice the serenity of the scene surrounding her. Taking a breath brought the sweet fragrance of fresh grass and wildflowers, and upon her skin was a feeling of warmth and comfort. To her ears came the quiet discourse of nocturnal Pokémon, and though her eyes were closed, she was aware of the brilliant autumn moon as it blanketed the land in a soothing glow.

Slowly, surely, she opened her eyes and was immediately greeted with the concerned features of her partner, James, who repeated his question, emerald eyes searching her face for answers.

"Are you alright? You were screaming."

Acting nonchalant, Jessie flipped back the cover of her sleeping bag and sat up with an exaggerated yawn. "I'm fine, just a bad dream, nothing to worry about." She spoke quickly, afraid the act of vocalizing would function like a trigger as it had in her dream.

It was almost as if James sensed this, but before he could speak Jessie had already slipped out of her make-shift bed and was walking away toward the small pond they'd made camp by.

"Where ya goin' Jess?" The question came from Meowth, who'd also been awoken by her screams.

"Just to get a drink of water."

Waving halfheartedly at the two, Jessie continued forward without so much as a backwards glance.

Any ordinary girl would have probably sought comfort after such a ghoulish delusion, and in that respect, Jessie was normal. However, unlike many others, she had a reputation to uphold. She was the tough one after all, and she couldn't go around weeping over something as trivial as a bad dream.

Soon Jessie found herself standing upon the soft shore of the pond. Her bare toes wiggled in the moistened earth, and her long hair rustled playfully in the breeze. For a moment she allowed a small smile to adorn her lips, but it soon faded when she realized that James had followed her. This came as little surprise to the girl, and though she knew he had good intentions, she longed for nothing more than his absence. Part of her was still shaken by the dream, and another found his comfort to be too great a temptation for one trying to act tough.

Finally deciding to indulge him, she turned around, only to be met with the curiosity of her long-time friend. The same breeze rustled his short blue hair, but the rest of him remained stiff and anxious. She knew that he hadn't been fooled. His emerald eyes asked a million questions, and his mouth hung open as if he were about to speak.

This was just like James, doing whatever he could to help. And for what? Scoldings and ingratitude? Yet, he acted in his own free will. He didn't _have_ to tolerate Jessie's attitude after all. Her guess was that he couldn't handle the real world, so he chose an easier course: one girl's severity vs. the cruelty of the mankind. It hardly seemed like a choice.

However, despite all of Jessie's harshness, James didn't just endure her, he returned to her. He truly cared about her wellbeing, and Jessie found that difficult to accept. She'd been hurt too many times by those close to her, and on many levels she wished he'd just turn around and go back to sleep. His concern was misplaced. It was just a nightmare after all; nothing to worry about.

"Jessie? Are you sure you're alright? Do you… Do you want me to sit out here with you?"

The sheer simplicity of the question caught Jessie off guard, and she fell into subdued silence as she contemplated her answer. However, before she could comply, she seemed to remember something, and her demeanor quickly changed to annoyance as she crossed her arms with a huff.

"I said it was nothing. I don't need your sympathy."

Though James looked hurt by her rather gruff rejection, he refused to back down, not realizing that his tenacity was merely added to Jessie's frustration.

Was he deaf? She'd made her wishes very plain, so why didn't he just leave her be? She didn't want to think about him anymore, it only made her upset, yet, she didn't fully understand why. Perhaps it was the feeling of contradiction he brought her, or maybe it was the fact that thinking of him more meant thinking more of him, a concept that made her rather uncomfortable. James was her partner, that was all, and right now he wasn't respecting her boundaries.

"Excuse me, but I said I don't need you!" Annoyed, Jessie pushed past the bewildered James and stormed away towards the woods. She needed to clear her mind.

Meanwhile, James returned to camp, an air of dejection surrounding him as he made his way to his sleeping bag and plopped down with a sigh.

"So what's up Jimmy? Jess dream she had a bad hair day?" Meowth asked from the neighboring bed.

The feline's question was meant to be funny, but James didn't laugh. He was too busy watching the spot Jessie had disappeared and wishing she'd come back. He hated when she got like this. It made him feel bad for both himself and his partner. After years of travel she still hadn't learned to trust him, and if she couldn't trust him, who could she trust?

"James?"

There was a moment of silence in which James continued to think before responding.

"Meowth… Do you think Jessie is really as independent as she seems?"

The Pokémon didn't answer right away, but he seemed confident in his conclusion. "No. I don't t'ink so. Jessie puts on a tough act, but she needs people just like everyone else."

James recalled the sweet insecurities Jessie rarely showed, and wondered if Meowth was right. She was a wonderful actress after all, so perhaps her "adoring fans" weren't enough. Even Jessie needed a friend, someone she knew she could count on. Of course, he'd kinda hoped she would have seen those qualities in him by now.

It wasn't like he was asking for much. He didn't need respect or compensation—no, Jessie was too proud for such things. All he wanted was for her to recognize that he was more than just her partner, he was her friend, and she could depend on him through thick and thin. His desire was both selfish and selfless, for he knew that if she realized this fact, things would be better for both of them.

Coming to a decision, James stood up and turned towards the woods with a new look of determination. "I'm going after her."

Meowth said nothing as he watched him go. He was impressed by his resolve, and hoped he would find Jessie and work things out. Maybe she'd even open up to him this time, though she seldom did. You'd think that his sweetness and her stubbornness would provide the perfect balance, but James rarely asserted himself and Jessie remained glued to her high horse. It was as if neither Rocket realized what they had between them.

About a half hour after James' departure, Jessie returned, only to collapse upon her sleeping bag with a small groan. Her walk had been in vain, for it only gave her more time to think about James—a topic that both frustrated and enticed her.

At one point along the way she'd come to the conclusion that he was too nice to be a criminal. Sure, he possessed the ability to be devious, but too many times he just didn't seem to fit the role. There was a certain kindness about him, a sense of selflessness. Perhaps he had initial reasons for joining Team Rocket, but what kept him there now? Was he just too stubborn to give up after years of chasing the same Pokémon? Did he enjoy the thrill of life on the edge? Maybe he was just too lazy to earn an honest living.

All these ideas seemed plausible, but whatever answer she knew one thing for sure: _she _wasn't his reason for staying—her tyranny made sure of that.

Not wanting to consider the matter any further, Jessie closed her eyes and tried to think of other things as sleep slowly began to toy with her troubled mind.

Buy the time morning came, she guessed she'd acquired no more than an extra hour of rest—though, it didn't matter, considering she hadn't expected to sleep at all. Slipping out from her sleeping bag she stood up and stretched, yawning obnoxiously as she did so. This woke Meowth, but as she looked around she realized that something was missing.

"Meowth, where's James? Out getting breakfast I hope." She said this last part with eager curiosity. She didn't recall seeing him when she'd returned last night, but then, she hadn't been paying much attention to her surroundings.

Meowth looked puzzled by her question, and crawled over to James' bed, feeling the fabric with his paws and frowning slightly. "It's cold. He must not have come back last night afta he went out lookin' for you."

Jessie was surprised by this answer. She hadn't expected James to go after her. Was he really that concerned, or was he just being stubborn? …No…that wasn't like James… Stubbornness was _her_ specialty, not his.

"He's been gone half the night then… Where could he be?" Jessie furrowed her brow, imagining horrible things happening to her partner in the dark. Had she been the cause of something terrible, just like in her dream? No, that was ridiculous; it was just a dream. He probably just got lost down a side path and fell asleep somewhere along the way.

"I'll go look for him I guess. You stay here and find us some breakfast for when I get back."

With that, Jessie departed, her mind focused on finding James. However, after an hour of searching passed, she began to grow frustrated with her endeavor. The paths seemed to go on forever, and with so many side-trails, she might as well have been walking a labyrinth. No wonder he'd gotten lost.

Finally, she decided to use her Pokémon for help, but before she could even reach for her pokéballs something familiar caught her eye. It was a small rose petal, the exact kind James carried with him. Intrigued, she searched the area, finding two more petals down a nearby trail.

This had been just the clue she'd been hoping for, and she promptly began to follow her flower petal path with renewed hope and determination. However, as she progressed, the terrain's ruggedness grew until there was hardly a Stantler trail to guide her. She began to worry that she too would become lost, until finally, she found the remainder of the rose itself, and prayed James wasn't too far removed.

She took a breath to call out to him, but was stopped by a sudden chill in the air. It felt dark and familiar, and she cautiously scanned her surroundings until she spotted the perceived source. The culprit was a small dark cave located at the bottom of a rather steep hill. To Jessie, it was reminiscent of a hungry mouth, and if one wasn't careful, she could easily see the victim tumbling down the hill to be swallowed by the abyss.

Suddenly, the situation became clear to her. James must have been walking along in the dark, not seen the hill, tripped, and fallen down into the cave where he was now hurt or unconscious.

Jessie's first instinct was to rush in after him, but sudden panic seized her, stopping her in her tracks. Images from her dream kept resurfacing in her memory, and as the seconds passed she found it increasingly difficult to prompt herself into action. However, after several minutes of mental deliberation, she finally gathered enough courage to forge ahead. James was her partner after all, and he needed her. Besides, she was probably making a big deal out of nothing.

Gritting her teeth, Jessie slid boldly down the face of the hill and tumbled into the mysterious hole. The steep incline didn't change for several meters and then quickly leveled off at the bottom, creating a less than graceful crash-landing for the stunned trainer. _I should have been a little more careful…_ she thought, painfully rising to her feet and rubbing the arm she'd landed on.

Her surroundings were shrouded in shadows, and she hesitated before calling out to her lost companion. "James? James, are you in here?!" She let the question echo, but received no answer other than her own voice. The bitter aura from before was even stronger now, causing her to shiver as she carefully made her way forward into the darkness.

All this was just a little too familiar. A dark tunnel, a cold mist… _What's next? Glowing, red ey—_

But Jessie's thoughts were finished for her as a huge pair of crimson eyes appeared in the darkness. Their owner was no more than ten feet away, and, as if to complete the ensemble, a set of brilliant white teeth grinned a greeting to her in the gloom. She'd seen that smile before, and for the first time she realized what those glowing eyes belonged to: a Gengar.

Apparently pleased with her realization, the Pokémon laughed, and soon, dozens of other Gengar joined it, all snickering at some untold joke.

Jessie could feel that same sense of absolute terror returning to her, but she forced herself to remain calm in order to speak to these dark, mysterious Pokémon. After all, maybe they were friendly.

"P-please… Is my f-friend down here? H-he has b-blue hair and g-green eyes…" Her attempt to be bold fizzled out, and she found herself fallen to her knees from weakness and fear. There was something demonic about these Pokémon. Not a scrap of mercy shone in their eyes, and their continued laughter destroyed any sense of confidence she had left.

Then, by the eerie glow of the Gengar, she saw something new. It was a man lying face down on the ground and trembling all over. She knew immediately who it was.

"James!" Jumping to her feet, Jessie made to run to him, but her path was forcefully blocked by a mass of dark, frowning faces. Their angry yells were both fierce and insistent, causing her to fall back in alarm. What was she going to do now? She had no way through!

However, getting to James was the least of her worries, for at that moment many of the Gengars' eyes began to glow bright purple as a demonic pulse erupted from their bodies. It was their Dark Pulse attack, and with so many Pokémon using it at once, it was all Jessie could do to stay conscious. She could feel their negative energy surging through every fiber of her being, and she screamed in both pain and terror as the effects of the onslaught lingered within her.

However, above even the cries of Jessie rang the agony of James. She knew she had to get to him before the Gengars' next assault, but she had no idea how.

Then it hit her. This was exactly like her dream, right? And in her dream, the only thing that prevailed in the darkness had been that bright light. But what did it mean? She didn't have time to be all deep and metaphorical; she had to get James out of there!

Trying to focus on what had given the light its strength, Jessie rose to her feet with a new sense of confidence and hope. This only seemed to further upset her foes, but she held on to the emulation of the light, and with a deep breath she plunged forward into the ghostly gaggle of Gengar.

In that moment her world became the embodiment of confusion, fear and darkness, but she kept pushing forward. She had to get to James. She wouldn't let him slip away into the abyss because of her. Her dream could not come true!

After what seemed like an eternity of running she finally managed to reach him, but was distressed to find that he'd gotten worse and was now writhing in his anguish. Wasting no time, and utilizing her adrenaline rush to fling him over her shoulder, and with hardly an afterthought she turned to retreat. There were times she felt an eerie crunching beneath her feet, and she wondered if those had been the bones of Pokémon and people who hadn't been able to escape. She wouldn't be them.

Soon Jessie could see the end of the tunnel, but suddenly remembered how steep her decent had been. With a swarm of Gengar behind her and a vertical exit in front of her it didn't look like she had much hope; but she did have Pokémon.

"Dustox, go! Use your whirlwind to push us out of this cave!" Releasing her Pokémon from its ball, Jessie braced herself for the attack. Dustox acted quickly, flapping its wings with all its might and trying hard to ignore the raging mass behind it. The strategy worked, and Jessie soon found herself sprawled at the bottom of the hill just outside the cave. Dustox followed after them, and as one final precaution Jessie released her Seviper, ordering it to cover the entrance. The Pokémon obeyed, pushing nearby boulders over the hole, and sealing it off from the world.

To Jessie, it was like plugging the entrance to Hell itself.

For a moment all was still. Pokémon and human alike sat on bated breath, wondering if the barricade would restrain the angry apparitions. There was a moment when the ghostly tips of a Gengar's horns could be seen piercing the surface, but they quickly retreated back into the shadows where they belonged.

They'd done it. They'd escaped!

But their troubles were far from over, for James was still plagued by darkness. His body twitched violently, and he'd occasionally let out a sharp yell or pained scream as untold nightmares assaulted his mind. Not knowing what to do, Jessie balanced him atop Seviper and together she and her Pokémon raced back to camp. At one point Dustox flew ahead to warn Meowth, and after what seemed like an eternity, they finally managed to meet half way.

"Dis is bad… D'oes Gengar really messed him up."

Unsatisfied, Jessie grabbed Meowth by the front of his pelt and shook him in frustration. "I know that already! I want to know how we fix him!" At that, she threw him to the ground, where he continued to lay before finally sitting back up with look of distress.

"I don't know how ta fix him…" There was a moment of tense silence between them before Meowth seemed to brighten up with an idea. "But hey! Dere's a Pokémon Centa nearby. Maybe dey'd know what ta do!"

They all agreed that it was worth a shot, and so, the Rockets regrouped and set off towards their new destination. Fortunately, the Pokémon Center was close, but not even Nurse Joy knew how to help their teammate. She did all she could, but James continued to get worse as his body slowly weakened from stress. He'd been exposed to too much for too long, and his chances of survival looked bleak.

That night Jessie found herself at her partner's bedside. The others had all fallen asleep, but after what she'd seen in that cave she could hardly shut her eyes. James had stopped screaming in his fatigue, but his body still shook, and his skin was as white as a sheet.

Her dream had come true after all.

Tears began to burn the backs of her eyes as reality slowly sank in. She'd been in some tough scrapes in the past, but none like this. She was going to lose James forever, and there was nothing she could do about it. The worst part was she didn't even get to say goodbye. The last thing she'd said to him was that she didn't need him, a statement that was both cruel and completely untrue. Like so many other things she'd taken him for granted, but she now realized just how much she needed him in her life.

At that moment, a wave of irrefutable grief washed over her. What had she done? This was all her fault. If she'd only listened to him they would have never evened up in that godforsaken cave in the first place. Why did she insist on being so harsh with him? For years she pushed him aside, calling him friend or partner depending on what suited her. She led him on and threatened him in the same breath, and never showed a hint of appreciation towards anything he did. But like a loyal Growlithe, he always returned. Why hadn't she opened up to him? Did she really not trust him after all they'd been through together, or was she just scared to expose herself? For someone who acted so tough, she certainly was a coward.

At that realization Jessie snapped. She couldn't stomach the thoughts running through her head, and without warning she began to weep tears of deep regret over the choices she'd made in life. Never before had she felt like more of a failure, nor had she ever felt more remorse.

"James! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean what I said! I never mean what I say! I do need you, more now than ever! James, please!" She was frantic now, shaking the unconscious man's arm and sobbing between each sentence. He didn't respond, but she continued to encourage him until she was so overcome by grief that she could only lay her head down on the bed to cry in silence.

Then, an all too familiar sound caught her attention. It was his heartbeat monitor. It had gone flat.

This was really the end.

Quietly, Jessie scooted closer to her friend. He'd stopped trembling, so she guessed his nightmares had ended. That was good. But there was still one more thing she needed to say before this was over.

"I love you."

With that, she leaned over and kissed him on the lips. She'd planned for it to be a quick goodbye, but she found herself lingering there, her unkempt hair draping over their faces like a velvet curtain. Finally, she forced herself away, brushing tears from her eyes as she tried to compose herself. But something was different; the heart monitor was beeping again.

"James?!" Suddenly alert, Jessie bent over him, her own heart pounding.

"Jessie?...Is that…you?"

"Yes, it's me," she responded, completely dumbfounded by what was happening.

"Good… I just had the most frightening dream…"

And with that he drifted back into unconsciousness once more. But this time his thoughts were peaceful, and though he was still weak, he was alive.

Jessie was nearly bursting with glee. All it had taken was a kiss to break the darkness. Funny… For someone who loved fairy tales so much you would have thought that would have been the first thing she'd try. But that didn't matter now. James was back, and would live to see another day.

The only question that remained now was how she was going to act upon the new epiphanies she'd made during this death defying adventure.


End file.
